Serious Relationship

It is only in our youth that we are so selflessly and completely indulging to fun and are so hopelessly feeling alone, fearfully thinking about our uncertain future.

Serious Relationship is  a book that describes with maximum fidelity the experience of searching for the most comfortable partner in entertainment and, possibly, in the future, a partner in more serious relations during the dramatic events in the history of Russia in the early 90s of the last century. The heroine analyzes her momentary desires, her feelings about communicating with men and trying to find the most suitable relationship format for her.

As soon as I met someone, I became curious how soon he would leave me. After that I was feeling alone still being together with him. And finally I was already worried about the fact that we had broken up.

This is the true real life story. These events not only just could have happened at this very time and in this very country, but they indeed have happened in reality, and the author seeks to describe these raw experiences with the greatest objectivity and unvarnished.

This is the second book in The Unbearable Longing of the Flesh series.

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Helpline

“By the time you read these words, I probably will be gone…”
In the middle of the night I wake up. I’m shaking. With a tearful grimace, I am trying to sink back into the dream saving me from reality at least for a while.

Mom, mom, don’t call me. Don’t come into my room. I do not want to eat. I’m not going anywhere today. I will lie like this under the covers, with my face turned to the wall, and sobbing. Let the tears choke me. I want to cry out all my tears.

The helpline is 999-99-33. I’ll call, this is my last hope.
Once I overheard this number and wrote it down by inertia. And now the moment has come to use it.

“Girl, and did you have such a situation… When, on the contrary, you had to tell someone you didn’t need him? Although you knew you were hurting him by saying this? ” a professional psychologist asks me.
She is calm. She is completely calm.
“I have … ” I’m starting to remember.

A woman on the other end waits patiently. This is her job.
“Well, now you see, girl! So you also had such a situation! And now you’ve kind of changed roles. So that…”
So that… Don’t worry! Be happy!

Someone, – it seems, it was Alex – said in such cases you needed to take several pils of demerol at once, and then it would all be over.
I will be lying on the bed, crying and imagining I will call him from the telephone box, say I will kill myself, and then take out the pills brought in advance and swallow it.”

It was quote from “Serious Relations” (The Unbearable Longing of the Flesh Book 2)

You may buy the book here on amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08MC1GQLL/

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“The Unbearable Longing of the Flesh” heroine has similarities to Adèle from Leïla Slimani’s novel

I just read the book Adèle by Leïla Slimani. In this book we see a very curious and valuable study of the nature of female sexuality.
In some ways, Adele resembles the heroine of my autobiographical cycle “The Unbearable Longing of the Flesh”.

So here’s what we read about Adèle in Leïla Slimani’s novel:
“She was not hungry for the flesh of men, but for the situation itself.”
The author of the book describes that Adèle, in the measured routine of everyday life, tried to feel herself in the center of men’s attention, to feel being desired, and then so that this situation would receive some kind of intimate continuation, and this her longing was especially aggravated at parties. In sex, she liked his intimacy, his hidden side.
I am writing in Serious Relationship:
“In sex I loved the very atmosphere of intimacy most of all, and it was unique with each partner”.

Communication, parties are boring if Adele does not feel being desired. She immediately notices all the signals from men in her direction. Watches how long men resist her advances.
At the beginning of Serious Relationship, I detail how my heroine methodically and patiently seduces her boyfriend’s friend.

The second part of the cycle “The Unbearable Longing of the Flesh”. – Serious Relationship – starts like this:
“What is a man? Firstly, this is his eyes, when he staring at you more or less intensely, furtively or openly, with more or less pleasure. Then this is his penis inside you, functioning better or worse, and these more or less virtuoso movements of the penis cause in his biological master more or less self-reflection on everything that happens”.

In her novel, Leïla Slimani gives a more detailed formulation of my thought:
“Men, making love, look at their penis. They lean on their hands, tilt their heads and watch as their rod penetrates the woman. They want to make sure it works. For a few seconds they evaluate the movements and they probably enjoy this mechanic, so simple and so effective”.

Just like the heroine of the novel Adèle, my heroine was afraid of loneliness.
As for Adele , “she was afraid not of men, but of loneliness. She was afraid not to be under anyone’s gaze, to be an unknown, nameless, pawn in the crowd. “
This is what is told about my heroine in “I am Becoming a Woman “:
“Since sitting at home was mostly boring and lonely, I did not refuse any interesting pastimes that fate offered to me. After drinking a little for courage, I used to go off on a date with some new gentleman, whom I intended to charm”.

Here’s what Leïla Slimani writes about forced women integrating into the social behavior model:
“Adèle had a child for the same reason she got married. To belong to the world and protect herself from any difference from others. “
I write about the same in “Serious Relationship”:
“Gradually, I really came to consider myself as an old maid … I started avoiding people who might ask me if I had already married or not … From now on, a girl of my age needed to get married in order just to increase self-esteem”.

Rebecca Popova collage

However, Adèle is not too eager to lead just a boring family life.
“She will have to find something that transcends the prosaicity that strangled her in childhood, forcing her to say that there is no punishment more terrible than family life”.

This is what I write in Serious Relationship:
“Due to the pesky duty of cooking that was imposed on a woman in our society, I never wanted to get married, and besides, I was terrified by the perspective of washing diapers and hearing baby’s crying”.

So do not forget to download my book- my own exploration of female sexuality:

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